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[Jul. 10th, 2009|07:35 pm] |
So, I haven't had my car for nearly two weeks and the glorious day came to pick it up. Bradley picked me up (for what I thought was the last time) from my house and we rode over to the creepy tow lot. I got in my car and drove off into the sunset joyously. But I was only joyous for about two minutes. It soon became apparent that something was dreadfully wrong.
You know how when you go to the grocery store and sometimes you get the bunk cart that always wants to wheedle its way toward the left? So imagine that, only in a car.
Can you imagine what a car would sound like if you tried to drive it without the tires on the wheels? I can. It sounded a lot like that. Yet I know for a fact that all four tires were there.
Lastly, you know those suspicious stains left on your driveway after a shitty car has been parked there for a while? Yeah, it's also leaking. God only knows what.
So, once again, thank god Bradley has triple A. I've now used half his tows for the year. The mini is off to global imports, where they probably won't get around to looking at it till Monday. At least I have Julie's car for now, Ms. No-Brakes-A-Lot.
I'm going to cheer myself up with a whole lot of live music tonight but I need a partner in crime. Anne may fit the bill if she's feeling up to it. Bradley has to work, which is taking some getting used to.
So the schedule is: Wonderroot, The EARL, Drunken Unicorn, Star Bar.
I was going to go up to Marietta tomorrow for the pirate garage sale because that sounded wonderful but I don't trust that car to make it up there. Which means I'll spend a couple hours putting out fliers, then go do all those other things I said I'd do, hopefully ending the night with a dance party.
Stuff is weird. |
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| g-easy |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|04:32 pm] |
Hey guys...
I think this is the longest lapse between friends' entries I've ever seen. Is something wrong on my end or is Emily's June 25th post about how packing is a bitch really the last thing any of you wrote? Seriously, if I relied on livejournal to reassure me that my friends were all alive and well I'd be fearing a zombie attack right now.
Anyway, I've had a fruitful day. I got some work done at San Francisco (coffee) and went to Target...with the intention to buy only a couple of pairs of underwear...well, we all know how that goes. Five pairs of panties, one sundress, and $35 later, I'm once again resigned to acknowledge that I am not immune to Target's siren song.
Yesterday I awoke to find a package inside the front door addressed to me! Usually, any mail that's good news is addressed to Anne, so I was delighted. Upon opening it, I found that it was from Allen and contained a $50 money order, a CD with 5 songs, and a book called The Ethical Slut. Best package ever. So I've been absorbed in this book from the moment I got it and am almost finished with it. It's basically a guidebook on how to lead a polyamorous lifestyle without fucking it up. As with any guidebook, it's written from a somewhat radical, extremist point of view, but it contains some noteworthy messages and will inevitably make you question social norms. I like books like that. It's co-authored by two women who are involved in "central relationships" with other people but have nonmonogomous relationships and are sexually and emotionally involved with several other people. They make it work, and I think that's fascinating. I don't know if this is how I would want to live my life but it's interesting to think about.
On that note, I suppose it's time to write some about my recent breakup. I've been putting it off and doing most of the conversing about it in my own brain in order to not publicly (or privately) state something about it I don't really mean. Why did I break up with Ryan? I can't really figure it out, still. It was probably the hardest thing I've done, simply because I had no solid reason. I have plenty of little reasons, reasons I can scatter around, but they're all weak and none is a "deal-breaker". I do know I feel better now, happier, and I can't quite understand that. A couple of days ago I proposed to him that we go on a date, so as soon as we can find the time, we're going to do just that. Again, I don't quite understand why I did that, but it felt like the right thing to do, and I think it will be fun.
I've never understood the dramatic attitude of those who break up with a person for the sole reason that they have a strong desire to be single. I think I'm catching on a bit - being in a relationship can (and if you're not careful, will) hold you back from being a whole individual. The book is helping me to understand that concept. Because we're so trained to expect the person we're in a relationship with to 'complete' us, it's easy, even for the most stubborn and strong-minded individual, to lapse into 'us' mode. Being with Ryan, I used our relationship as an excuse to not do things I was nervous about, not fully enjoy myself on several occasions. This was in no way his fault, but it happened.
Now when I see him, which is not nearly as often as it was, of course, I feel the same love for him that I always have. I adore him, and I have to work hard not to treat him exactly the way I did when we were together. And yet, and yet. Just can't do it.
On another note, business is good. We had our first show at the Strand last night, and although it was pretty underattended, the bands played well and the movie was wonderful. Misfortune 500 opened the show, and they managed to get a gig out of it. The next one is in two weeks, and I think they're only going to get more popular. Good idea, Cassi. I have to work on getting our dance party organized for next Wednesday, get the DJs in line, and promote it, because Bradley's taking a backseat on that particular night. We're getting a lot more organized. A couple of weeks ago, it felt like we both just threw up our hands and left our fates to the wind, with all the personal issues we've both had going on. Now things feel more settled, and I know my brain feels a lot more organized, and we're figuring out the best way to divide up our responsibilities and whatnot. I managed to get guest passes for four new shows for our staff and a new interview set up for me, and all of that is terribly exciting. We have a little additional support on the programming side of things from a girl in town who runs a very successful music blog, so I'm hoping between her and Ryan's knowledge, the website will be running more smoothly from now on.
In about an hour I'm going to a BBQ - we're cooking out and watching Mars Attacks. This sounds wonderful, such a different night from what I've grown accustomed to. I think I may hop over and see Abby Go-Go later though.
Hurray, stuff. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|12:42 pm] |
It's time to reflect on these last few days.
No, I still don't have my car or my phone. Since Kenny is out of town I have the precarious privilege of driving the Julie-mobile, whose brakes are close to nonexistent at this point. So until Julie or Kenny gets back, whichever happens first, I have sort of a car. That's neat.
Yesterday was the most out-of-place day ever. I mean that in the most positive way possible. I had known for a few days that I was invited to tag along to Bradley's niece's birthday party, which included hanging out on the roof of the W hotel downtown for a pool party and a nice dinner, but I wasn't aware of how luxurious a situation it was to be. Bradley woke me up around 11 yesterday morning and since Emily was sleeping on our couch and woke up at exactly the right time, we invited her too. The W is officially my favorite hotel chain ever. Every detail of the place is so well thought out, so perfectly manicured it's astonishing. The pool felt like bathwater, the djs were fantastic, and the drinks were unique and tasty. Bradley's sister, Sylvia had decided to splurge on two rooms for Lindsey and her guests + us, and we had full permission to charge our drinks to the rooms. Therefore, Emily and I tried everything on the signature drink menu that sounded at all appetizing throughout the course of the afternoon. It was funny hanging out with Lindsey's group - a bunch of East Cobb kids who have lived in their little bubble of spoiled Pope/Walton lifestyle without ever giving a second thought to what might live beyond that bubble. After I invented a story about a wild and rugged knife fight that I got into with Emily's brother (the reason I have a stab-like wound on my inner thigh) after which I strangled him to death behind the Clermont, the young man I was describing the details to revealed the nasty underside to the spoiled Marietta kid - "Say, is it just me or are there an awful lot of black people at this party?" Aw, Marietta kid, you seemed all right before then. A little dumb, sure, but all right. "Yeah, you're in Atlanta, buddy. Black folks have got 60% of the population here." He looked astonished. Bradley popped in at this point to tell him in no uncertain terms that the people we were sharing our pool space with undoubtedly made more money than any of us ever will. Poor kid. He had to find out all at once that not only are there still black people left in this world, some of them even have homes! It's a lot to swallow in less than five minutes, I guess.
The birthday guests held up the same basic attitudes throughout the party - reasonably cheerful, too loud, and ranging between mildly and extremely offensive. I suggested Two Urban Licks for dinner, and everyone was impressed with the selection. (Dinner went on the credit card Sylvia had sent along with Lindsey.) As dinner drew to its end, Sylvia tried to call Lindsey and she pitched a nice little fit about how controlling her mom is, always having to check in on her. Bradley took the responsibility of talking to this obviously oppressive woman (who at this point had spent upward of $2000 on the night we were enjoying) but made Lindsey promise to call her mom after dinner. I had the pleasure of overhearing that conversation, which was mostly an extension of the temper tantrum she had started at the dinner table. But damn, my steam pot was as good as I remembered, and by this point in the night Bradley, Emily, and I had formed a little triad of eye-rolling, astonished glances, facepalms, and stifled giggles at our fellow guests' behavior.
The rooms Sylvia booked (TWO rooms, couldn't fit all that ego in one) were astonishing, following the theme of the day. I've never flopped onto a more comfortable bed, even the bathroom had mood lighting controls, there was a martini bar next to the bed (excuse me, ONE of the two beds), and to top it all off, rather than a Gideon's Bible, they left us a kaleidoscope. When we first checked out the rooms, Lindsey handed us a key to one and we were under the impression that we were somehow to get away with the three of us getting this to ourselves for the night. We were, of course, mistaken, but it was nice to dream for a few minutes. By the time we got back from dinner and into the room, it was clear that we were NOT the only ones with a key to 1508, and the room had already been 'used'. To my disappointment, someone had already gone through the supplies at out little martini bar - not that it was even enough to feel sad about. Our good fortune was glaring at us all day. We spent the last hour of legal drinking in the hotel bar, where Emily and I tried the last two cocktails left on our list, and polished our drinking off with our favorite two of the day. From there, we went back to the beautiful pool and Emily and I tipsily swam in our fancy dresses.
The view from this pool begs description - swimming to the infinite wall of glass at one edge of the pool, we could see most of downtown to our left and in front of us and the tiny, busy interstate to our right. During the gray day, the city loomed, important as ever, stared us in the face, and relaxed and exhilarated us simultaneously. At night, when the sky had mostly cleared, the moon reflected off of the Westin directly in front of us and we felt almost like we were floating higher and higher away from the ground.
It was after night swimming that our evening got a little silly. Back in the room, where all of East Cobb followed us back, Bradley and Emily and I hopped onto one of the beds and put on some music (an iPod dock came with the room, of course) and changed the flat screen TV's channel to E, which was playing Bring it On. Everyone sort of milled in and out of the room, and once we were left alone, we decided room service was in order. We ate our way through two personal pizzas and a plate of chicken fingers before the shit hit the fan in the form of a skinny, perfectly tanned East Cobb reigning princess.
Lindsey came into the room to confront Bradley. "My friends say you're being rude to them," she complained. "I haven't taken any of their shit, I've dished it back, if that's what you mean." (This was true. The East Cobb boys were antagonizing, as is their nature, and Bradley, Emily, and I tried to playfully throw it back in their faces as much as we could). "Well, I need them to be able to sleep somewhere. And you're taking up a bed." "What do you want me to do?" "Ugh, Bradley, you make everything so difficult. Why do you have to make everything so difficult?" "Lindsey, if you want us to leave, just say so! My condo is five minutes away. But it would have been nice if you had said something earlier." "Bradley you're such an asshole! God!" "What do you want me to do? Just tell me, Lindsey, and I'll do it. I'm taking up one bed, three people, one bed. If your bratty friends need more room to spread out, we'll leave." "Bradley you're such an asshole!" "We're out of here, don't worry about it, you spoiled fucking brat!"
Eek. Meanwhile, Emily and I are hiding under the comforter to avoid having to take part in this unfortunate discussion. We popped out and threw on our shoes and took off. The thing is, Bradley organized this whole adventure of a day. He's the one who got Lindsey plus her friends onto 'the list' to hang out at that party, it was his idea to do everything we did that day. Now, I don't care that we ended up at the condo rather than in the hotel - I had a way more luxurious day than I deserved. But I really can't believe someone could be so spoiled and so bratty as to kick her uncle, who had planned her entire party, out of said party so her friends could (just a guess) orchestrate a gang bang in more comfortable quarters. I shouldn't have been surprised, seeing as she couldn't stop complaining about her mother, the sponsor, all evening, but such selfishness never fails to surprise me.
Anyway. I know I'm really indulging in this entry, but it's been a long time since I was able to sit and spout my thoughts onto a screen or a non-biased party at all.
The past couple of weeks have been so topsy-turvy, so bizarre and so different from what I'm used to. If I hadn't been the one to do it all to myself, I would accuse someone of having pulled the rug out from under me. I feel like I've been in freefall all this time, encountering positive and negative but not really having the authority to take care of any of it or even observe it for more than a few minutes at a time. Every day I have no idea where I'll end up or what I'll be doing by the end of the night. Who I'll meet for the first time or who I'll encounter for the 45th time. I've had very little time to myself, and I haven't been organizing what time I do have very responsibly. I've been 90% happy, overjoyed even, but that leftover ten is a combination of confused, a little sad, some doubtful, and a tiny dash of sheer terror.
I miss the friends I don't see by default and the ones that I've developed phone relationship with. I have almost no way of contacting certain people until I get my phone back. I even had a dream I found my phone last night and the disappointment upon waking was devastating. I know I'm being overdramatic about this, but I feel like I've lost an important tie to the world over these few days. On the flip side, there's something awfully freeing about the situation. Time to take care of business though, wake up from this weird fog I've been living in.
I'm going to end this entry now because I'm tired of typing, not because I've run out of stuff to say. I have so many events to relay, so many ideas and emotions I could spell out, things I'll want to remember when I inevitably come back to this entry in the future and marvel once again at how different yet similar my life is at that point. Obviously, some of the most important aspects of my life are missing from what I've written today but I just don't have it in me to get them out right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 30th, 2009|06:11 pm] |
Today has been a very dynamic day. This weekend was possibly the best of my life.
I don't have a car or a phone right now because I was having entirely too much fun at Corndogorama to keep track of such petty things. I do have a new plan, a much better outlook on life, and a pleasant feeling in my stomach.
When you write it out, it seems like I should be at least a little upset but I'm not:
Ryan and I broke up
I cut off my hair
I lost my car
I lost my phone
A lot of people are mad at me right now - way more than I'm used to
I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to pull off this weekend and all it's asking of me
I am awfully close to being fired from R Thomas
I have almost no money
I'm happier than I've ever been.
I walked around the city for two or three hours, trying to get home from the psychologist's office. I kept being faced with obstacles in the shape of bridges that I had to cross if I wanted to get where I was going. I have an intense fear of bridges, so I kept detouring (I know at least one person will relate to that). I ended up almost exactly where I started, only on the other side of the bridge. So I crawled through some bushes to get to the storage shed office, and waited for someone to show up. When someone did, I asked for a ride across the bridge. He didn't even question it, just took me and bitched about what an awful day he was having. It's not often that you meet a racist gay man, but today I did. I sat down at Caribou and asked to borrow a stranger's cel phone. Called Ryan and asked him to come pick me up. He did, and I explained what had happened and he called me crazy, which is fair.
But I'm happier than I've ever been. I think there's something in that. I'm really excited about living differently. I wrote a letter to my mom explaining all of this stuff and I have my fingers crossed that she reacts well to it. We'll see.
So I'm selling my car, getting a moped, selling most of my stuff, and moving soon.
I hope I still have friends when I come through this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2009|01:20 pm] |
Well, my hair has been chopped and even though it wasn't the plan, I finally got to fulfill my long-time desire to dye my hair gray. Consistent with everything else I've been doing lately, the best reaction I got out of 'group A' was a wrinkled nose and a "That looks weird" and the best reaction I got out of 'group B' was a delighted bartender who bought me a maker's. Group A are my actual best friends who have been there for me for years on end, who I've spent really significant amounts of time with always. Group B is the people I see out at night, laugh with, and throw parties with. It's all very confusing.
It's show night! I'm terribly excited, I think this one has potential to be even more fun than last month's, yet probably a bit more laid-back.
Gonna run around most of the day and get stuff done for tonight.
Dear World,
I'm not dating Bradley. I understand the confusion and I understand how one could come to the conclusion, but it isn't true and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop treating me as if it were.
Love,
Betsy |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|05:38 pm] |
Well. What a week.
Right now I'm sitting in one of the best chairs ever made in Bradley and Katy's condo. This chair has a phone wired into it as well as a vibrating massager. It is so huge that when we moved it into the condo, Katy's dad had to take the door off.
Tonight is our first dance party at Amsterdam and I'm a wee bit worried about the turnout we're gonna have. We sort of dropped the ball on promotion. But I'm at least sure that it will be fun. Come see me, I'll be at the door.
Ryan and I broke up yesterday. It was my decision but I'm still quite sad about it. I hope it was the right thing to do. I guess we'll see. I'm pretty sure that was the most difficult thing I've ever done.
So, through all that, I'm pretty tired. I'm pretty overwhelmed. And I hope everything goes ok. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2009|03:45 pm] |
A couple of weeks ago, our washing machine broke. So Ryan and I have just been wearing our dirty clothes over and over. Finally, I'm fed up with this. So I decided to find a laundromat. And I found the hippest one in town - I think. Free wifi, a huge gumball machine, complimentary coffee, plenty of space to 'lounge.' I love it. If only it weren't expensive. I'm pretty sure this is my first time as an adult in a laundromat and I didn't realize how much it costs to clean all of one's clothing.
So, no, Morgan. Not all laundromats are sad. |
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| fail |
[Jun. 9th, 2009|01:53 pm] |
A is for Adam
B is for Bradley
C is for Chris
D is for Dante
E is for Eric
F is for
G is for Garrett
H is for Harold
I is for Ian
J is for Jarrett
K is for Kyle
L is for
M is for Mike
N is for Nick
O is for
P is for Pat
Q is for Quincy
R is for Ryan
S is for Sean
T is for Travis
U is for
V is for
W is for Will
X is for
Y is for
Z is for |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2009|11:16 am] |
Oh man.
So I'm at Inman Perk, 'working'. I'm also listening to an album by God Help the Girl, called I think, the same. It's completely incredible and I'm pretty sure that everybody that I think reads my livejournal would agree.
Back from Chicago. Wasn't very eventful.
Every time I go away I'm so happy to come back. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2009|02:32 am] |
It's 2:30 in the morning and I've had an incredibly satisfactory day and night. I interviewed a band I deeply admire and watched their performance which was as good as usual.
I spent quite a bit of time tonight searching my room for an item I've still not found, but I found so many things in the process that were of value. The best was an old photo album I had put together in seventh grade. It contained pictures from a trip to Disney World, some from home, and some from school. I loved my friends as much back then as I love my friends now. There were some great pictures of my dad that I'm happy I didn't think to put in the funeral montage - they're mine forever this way.
This time tomorrow I'll be crashing from a night of fun in Chicago, I hope. Either way, I'll be in Chicago and I plan on having an extraordinary amount of fun while I'm there.
Things are going so well with Atlanta Guardian. I can hardly believe the amount of momentum we've picked up over the last month. And I can hardly believe it's already June.
I'm calming down a lot from my somewhat frazzled state I was in last week. I think a weekend in Chicago will do me a lot of good. I can't wait to see my family. I'm so pleased that it's all working out so well. I'm basically in love with this summer. |
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| Fun New Word Game I Play When I Want to Rest my Mind |
[Jun. 1st, 2009|05:24 pm] |
A as in Adolf
B as in Betsy
C as in Chuck Norris
D as in Donald Duck
E as in Elephant
F as in Fever
G as in Gaseous
H as in Heinous
I as in Incredible
J as in Janis Joplin
K as in Kleenex
L as in Lampoon
M as in Manchild
N as in Notoriety
O as in Octopus
P as in Practically Perfect in Every Way
Q as in Love
R as in Random Letter Association Game
S as in Stickler
T as in Tragic
U as in Unfortunate
V as in Vaginal
W as in Wishy-Washy
X as in Xenophobic
Y as in Yodler
Z as in Zanzabar! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2009|01:17 am] |
Ahh.
A day at the lake seems to have cured my mental and physical ailments. I definitely felt for a minute like a car that had run out of all its necessary fluids but was still being pushed around town (read: Morgan's old Volvo)
So we're back. Feels like we were gone much longer than a day and a half, which is helpful in that whole refreshment feeling.
I'm going to bed soon in attempt to make my sleep schedule a little more normal. Not entirely normal, but normal enough to where Bradley and I can meet at noon tomorrow instead of 4 p.m. Big goals, I know.
The website is up but needs SO MUCH work. There are so many things to add. And it frustrates me to not be able to help at all in that area. I'm really only good for giving Ryan moral support. I have no idea how to bewitch a computer into displaying my content.
I made a list of all the things I intend to get done tomorrow in Google tasks and it was slightly unnerving. We'll have to cram a ton of work in the next three days so we can leave on Thursday for Chicago in good conscience.
I guess that's my whole story. I really thought I was feeling more insightful but I guess I was wrong. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2009|04:40 am] |
I can't sleep.
I don't know if I should blame this on nerves/excitement or the two cups of coffee I drank at midnight. Probably a combination.
I tried, I really did. I laid in bed for two hours. I read. I read a lot. I kept twitching and tumbling.
Then I came out to the front porch. In the muggy near-summer, this place feels extra homey to me. It's reassuring to know that as long as I'm in Atlanta, this is more or less what it'll feel like to come outside in the middle of the night when I can't sleep.
Either Kenny and Kevern are driving semi-trucks around their bedroom or they're watching a movie.
I'm pretty sure I got a lot done today. I was able to check four items of importance of my to-do list before I went to work this afternoon and when I got home I did some more. Strayed from the list, but I think it's ok.
For the first time since we started work on this project, a certain fear crept into me that I'm not sure how to pacify. It's a fear that I'm not qualified for this. That I can't succeed at this because I don't have enough knowledge, and that I won't be able to attain the knowledge necessary for the job in time to make it succeed. It's very strange because I can't put a finger on exactly what would qualify me for such a thing, but the vague fear is there all the same. I suppose it started when Bradley called tonight feeling ill. What if he gets really sick and can't make it to the show? I don't think he'd let that stand in his way, but I can't imagine directing all those people by myself on Thursday. I think that's what started it and then it just snowballed into this massive questioning of me. Fears bled into each other: What if I'm not a good enough writer for this? What if my staff realizes this and calls me out on it? What if I don't know enough about music? What if a band notices this and calls me out? What if I publish that Kat Edmonson review and she reads it and she notices some mistake I made and she calls me out? What if ----------------------------------?
Oh well. I'm doing it anyway. At least I'll have pretty business cards.
Mostly, I'm excited. I think what we're doing is fun and good. It's weird to be so focused on something. Weird and nice.
I'm going to go do something useful now. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2009|04:57 am] |
Well, it's five a.m., which means it's just about bedtime. Harrison sent over our business card and design plan today, so we've spent the last seven hours working on our layout. It's been a lot of fun work.
I also just edited Bradley's first album review for the website with the help of Kenny and Bradley. It's a beautiful article. He's proud of it and I'm proud to have edited it.
I'm so sleepy now. But this work is so fulfilling. I'm excited about our show on Thursday.
Actual work was not so fun today. It was boring and depressing, especially knowing that we had the final ingredients (Harrison's work) to really get going with building the website.
Whatever. People have been amazingly helpful. Kenny took us through the process of building our layout tonight, Anne had excellent feedback. People that don't necessarily need to be spending their Friday nights helping us with this stuff...are. It's great. Sort of mindblowing.
This entry isn't done at all, but I'm gonna fall asleep and I think I should do that somewhere other than the front porch. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2009|12:25 pm] |
I'm getting some time alone - alone in the sense that I'm not at home or anywhere people can ask much of me. I'm at Caribou, my Edgewood oasis, surrounded by other people who probably all live with 5-7 others at any given time. Ok, probably not, there's just something about removing yourself from home comforts that helps focus the mind. So I'm in my own laptop farm. I have an hour to go before I'm supposed to join the world.
Working with Bradley has been delightful but sometimes alienating. It's so bizarre to see how different people respond to him. To some people, he's a social repellent. Unfortunately, those people are some of my closest friends. Yet, to other people, he's the best person to run into on a Saturday night. We went to Estoria on Sunday night, where haveyouheard used to have a weekly band night. The whole time we were there, people were approaching him, asking what he was doing now, how things were going with this that or the other. It's all so strange. Regardless of the way others react to him, I'm still certain he's the best person I could have decided to go into business with.
Ryan and I have been having marginally more fun together lately, I think. I feel more united with him than I had been a couple of weeks back. Today is his last day at Best Buy. I wonder how not working will suit him.
I'm going to go work on the thing I promised myself I'd work on. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2009|12:20 am] |
I'm getting some nice Betsy zen time for a few minutes before embarking on my next task. Alone on my front porch with a beer, I feel like I can marshall my thoughts a bit easier. Today felt incredibly productive, and in the style of such a day, I would like to present you with a list of all the things I did:
Worked 8-2
Had sushi with Anne
Wrote a mission statement for Atlanta Guardian
Wrote out a mockup calendar for our calendar section of the website
Communicated more with Cassi about our collaboration at the Strand (more later)
Emailed both bands we have in mind for said collaboration
Picked up the fliers for the May 28th show from Star Bar
Oooh, talked to Allen
Read more of The Tipping Point
Had Figo with Ryan
Went to see Bradley and Katy's new place - an awesome condo that they closed on today
Came back home, opened said beer, and did some productive, some non-productive stuff on the interwebs
Finalized the confirmation with my therapist that I am indeed taking a few weeks off from his practice
Now I'm gearing up to start writing out my article on Today the Moon, Tomorrow the Sun
It has been a really good day.
Last night I interviewed Today the Moon, Tomorrow the Sun at Manuel's Tavern. They are possibly my favorite local band right now and it was my first actual interview experience so it was a really nice combination. The band was open, humble, and honest, very unified, but definitely individualistic...Dave (Atlanta Guardian head photographer, R Thomas server extraordinaire, and the father of one of the two coolest babies I know) snapped pictures the whole time. I got some good information and a strong sense of what they're all like over the course of a couple hours and a couple pitchers. I'm excited to be writing that interview, excited that it will be a bulk of our launch content.
I know all I've been talking about and writing about lately is Atlanta Guardian, and I hope my friends will forgive me in due course. I'm just so excited. And this has got to be more interesting than that phase in which I would only write about my experiences making raw food.
I am simply amazed at how much support we're getting. I love that our facebook group is already nearly at 200 fans - the number Bradley boldly suggested as a goal to reach by the 28th. It was easy. And I know that right now people are supporting us because we're us and we have the best friends in the entire world, but I fully intend to deliver a really promising project. Writing that mission statement helped a lot. Words always help me solidify my emotions around a thing or person.
Oh! THIS has nothing to do with the project - I'm very excited to be going to Chicago for the first time the weekend of June 6th. It's my nephew's engagement party. Historically, I haven't made much of an effort to take part in such family festivities, but I feel more tied to those relatives of mine lately than ever. And by then I will probably be so up to my neck in all this work stuff that I'm guessing I'll welcome a weekend in a city I've never seen.
The only weird thing about working so consistently on such a time-sensitive project, especially with a boy, is that it makes me feel really out of touch with certain friends. I want to schedule times to see people but I feel almost irresponsible giving away even a couple hours of time I could put toward working on this stuff right now. I guess that's not fair to myself, even at the beginning. So, through writing this, I've decided that I'll make a few dates next week. If only phone dates.
Also, if I haven't said it before now, I definitely recommend The Tipping Point as a good read. It's such an interersting book. Thanks, Anne, for thinking of me and lending it out (even if I do live only a floor below you).
I think I'd better get to work on this stuff. Ryan and I promised we'd help Katy and Bradley move the few possessions they have to the new condo tomorrow morning and I'll be DAMNED if I'm not getting a full night's sleep. |
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[May. 9th, 2009|01:42 am] |
I am so pleased.
So happy.
I have an interview confirmed with Today the Moon, Tomorrow the Sun. They're basically my favorite band right now. I haven't scheduled it yet, but I talked to a couple of the band members tonight and they're all for it. Tonight was my fourth time seeing them and every time I get a higher sense of 'concert euphoria' - something I was really afraid of losing there for a while.
Every day is bringing new opportunities, more people who want to help us with this project. I can't even describe how positively people have reacted. I even MAY have found us an accountant to work with today - something I wasn't looking forward to searching for.
I went to my psychologist today and after just a few minutes of talking, I realized my voice was giving out every few minutes because of all the talking I've been doing. My whole life has been lit up by this project and I'm so happy to see each new development, each new change and ideas. We have the potential - already - to have regular nights at at least four venues around town. Every day brings new texts and phone calls from friends I've talked to extensively about the project with new ideas and propositions for what else we can do. Bradley and I have been more or less jumping for joy for over a week straight. I can't remember ever before being this excited about anything for such a period. I know this is 'honeymoon' time, I get that, but I have serious doubts that I'm going to lose interest any time soon in a project that weaves together talking to people, music, and writing. It just doesn't seem likely.
It was nice having a moment (hour) to discuss how I'm feeling rather than what I'm doing with someone. At times like these, therapy is worth every fucking penny. It was the first time I've been able to do that and not feel the need to back each story up with an enormous backlog of historic events.
Today I wrote a letter for the real mail. It's just a general letter expaining what we're doing with Atlanta Guardian and how people can help if they're interested. I imagine all the folk who are reading this are on my mailing list, so watch for it, even though you all already know.
I actually purchased some concert tickets tonight to see a band called Satellite District, which my friend Jeremy from work is in. I've been meaning to see them for a while and they're playing on the 23rd - perfect time to get content for our launch date.
Apparently, I have nothing to say outside of this project other than: I'm tired of waiting tables; I still adore my boyfriend; Matt and I made complete fools of ourselves at Lowe's this afternoon; and it's hot. Hot and muggy.
I love stuff. That's where I am. |
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[May. 5th, 2009|03:52 pm] |
Well, I woke up not so long ago with my first hangover in many months. Last night's Amsterdam was supreme.
Now I'm trying to get myself put back together for a business meeting that will begin at 7 p.m.
This is what's been happening. I've been on cloud nine for several days in a row. Bradley and I have been brainstorming, making contacts, making plans, setting wonderful events into motion ever since the inception of the idea for Atlanta Guardian, our new project. Less than a week ago, we came up with this idea and named ourselves as founders. We have web space. We have an excellent potential staff, and a few really key contacts. The dream we have is big and the support we're receiving matches it. Working with Bradley is easy, we understand each other and are a match for each other's volume and excitement.
Ryan is doing the programming for the website, which means we finally have something we can work on together that utilizes both our strongest talents. Other than his huffy attitude toward me upon waking (I didn't come to bed last night when he wanted me to) I'd say we're in better synchronicity than we've been in a few months.
Ryan is most important of these, but it's really exciting to be able to reach so many people this way. A lot of friends, some that I wouldn't really have expected it from, are on board with the project and see its potential the way I do. They want in, they want to help in whatever way they can and it's almost overwhelming.
As a result of the falling away of haveyouheard, Bradley and Katy are cooping up in our front room for the time being. They are easily the most considerate houseguests LaFrance has ever seen, and are far from a burden on us. Every day they've sort of taken on some new project, be it cleaning the bathroom, cooking a big dinner, or cleaning some other part of the house. It's been so wonderful, not least because I think it's one of the only ways to get Katy really comfortable with people - throw her in among them. She's a really quiet girl, but getting to know her in the tiny way I have over the last couple of days has been extremely nice.
I worked a whole lot over the last few days. At R Thomas, that is. It got to the point that yesterday, when I found someone to cover my dinner shift, I flopped down at the table across from Mike and told him how glad I was I didn't have to work that night, and his eyes got to be the size of dinner plates - "You were gonna work ANOTHER double today? No girl, you need the night off." It's bad when your coworkers are telling you to go home. However, I did make a fuckton of money over the weekend. By fuckton, I mean enough to cover my bills, of course.
Less important, but still fun, I'm embarking on a specific hair project. I just finished off my bottle of pink yesterday to touch up my roots and my plan is to grow it a little longer, dread it again, then let the dreads grow out so I have enough hair to warrant a reasonably acceptable short hair cut. From there, I'm planning on going natural as long as I can stand it.
Anyway, I'm really excited about this meeting. In honor of cinco de mayo, we're having tacos and margaritas as part of it. |
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[May. 2nd, 2009|05:13 pm] |
I'm always surprised how much less everyone seems to write on the weekends. It's been that way for years, and I'm pretty sure it's a definite pattern.
Everything I was feeling before found a cure - the icky things, that is. More to come on that.
Right now I'm sitting at work, taking an all-too-short break between shifts. I'm doing a 14 hour marathon shift today. |
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[Apr. 28th, 2009|02:16 pm] |
Last week was so strange. I feel like so many things fell down around me in miniature ways. Several aspects of my life that had hitherto made sense and felt steady tremored under me. It was sort of like when we used to play Jenga and we'd have a moderately-sized sculpture built and someone would jostle the table just slightly. Everyone would hold their breath and watch the blocks tremble a little and then exhale with relief when they didn't fall.
No longer having the same capacity for losing my head that I had ten years ago, I don't think I let it get to disaster point even inside me. I was certainly spinning for a few minutes, though. I resorted to my usual fallback when I'm feeling especially tumultuous and drank copiously. I'm not proud of this and I wish I didn't have that tendency. It's the only thing about my drinking habits that bothers me at all - the fact that since I drink frequently anyway, I let myself get really carried away when I'm feeling especially unsteady - and it's really no solution at all, of course. It's led me to extremely overly emotional conversations with both Matt and Bradley on seperate nights over the past week, and I'm pretty sure I came out of both conversations appearing more pathetic than before.
*clears throat* and a pause in the writing, sponsored by a phone call from Adam, explaining that he's pulling out of HaveYouHeard for the time being. This is interesting. Adam has seemed not himself lately, has been distant and strange, and I've been aware that he's going through some mucky muck. I wonder what will happen from here. Bradley and I are supposed to be meeting with the owner of 529 this afternoon to talk shop. I wonder if that's still the plan. Hopefully a lot will get cleared up next time I talk to him. Adam says he doesn't feel like he's leaving the project dead in the water, and I certainly hope he's right.
I really enjoy that part of my life - the involvement with hyh, with local music in general. Sometimes, after too many hours or nights of being around Those People (the ones that I don't consider actual friends) all I can do is roll my eyes, throw up my hands, and curl up in bed because they're too silly to deal with for too long. But mostly, I love it. I love talking about it, seeing the shows, listening to the promo albums, even assigning them to writers who take weeks to produce a two paragraph review makes me smile. I wish it didn't cause conflict with Ryan. I think he views the whole thing as silly and I know he doesn't really understand why I should care about something so much that isn't benefitting me in any tangible way. It causes trouble when I stay out late too. He can't come with me because he usually has morning responsibilities, and even if he didn't, I'm reasonably sure he wouldn't want to. We had a conversation about this kind of thing and concluded in a vague way that these are simply parts of our personality that don't match and that we'll have to learn to accept them. I hope this is so.
I've been thinking about school a little more often recently. All my thoughts about it came bursting out at Sam last night at Amsterdam - I'd like to go back, but only for something I really want, and if I'm not sure of what I want, what's the sense in going back? And even if it is something I really want, I'll make damn sure it's something I need a b.a. for, because it isn't as though you can get points for being a scholar with anything less than a masters...I tangented on it for a while, which was sort of unnecessary, but it had been a focal point in my thoughts for a good minute.
Constantly, I am surprised at people's perspectives on me and my habits. I'm surprised at what's noticed and what's completely skated over, negative and positive. I'm also surprised that there are so many people I've met many times that I just can't seem to remember, and that the situation happens in reverse, too. It's interesting to wonder what makes a person stick in someone's mind as memorable. ("You're just not a memorable person, Betsy" - I know I should never have dated Zane, but the creep certainly gave me some good quotation material.)
Also, I wish I could stop, even for a day, feeling so incredibly fat. |
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